Coney Island Queen

enemaroberts:

oknope:

the only boys i need in my life:

  • michael (kors)
  • christian (dior/louboutin)
  • jimmy (choo)
  • louis (vuitton)
  • tommy (hilfiger)
  • yves (saint-laurent)
  • giorgio (armani)
  • louis-francois (cartier)

the only boys yall can afford

(good)will 

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

dumbasschronicles:

catesstrophe:

today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”

she just kept going 

i screamed into a headset and she just kept going

working in customer service

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

missallegra:

Dumbledore: “and with 350 points Slytherin wins the house cup

But I have a few extra points to give out

500 points to Dumbledore for being the best headmaster”

*house flags all change to Dumbledore’s face*

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

-Everybody, this is Marvin

-We named him after my pop.

-Tell them the full name.

-Marvin Wait For It Eriksen.

(Source: hazellncaster, via fuckyeahloldemort)

314eater:

prevalere:

you know how in some movies the bride/groom calls off the wedding to be with the person they truly love and then they live happily ever after well it’s pretty shitty that the person they were getting married to doesn’t actually get a happy ending but no one seems to care about it to the point that he/she is not even mentioned afterwards as if that person didn’t exist or had feelings at all yeah just a thought

Lord farquaad will be okay

(Source: prevalere, via fuckyeahloldemort)

Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.

—Lemony Snicket (via kushandwizdom)